engaged Archives - Ann McKenzie
 

Tag: engaged

Where were you for the total solar eclipse on August 21, 2017?  I know thousands of people in the United States traveled to South Carolina to see the totality of the solar eclipse. We were fortunate enough to have family in Spartanburg, SC.  Eric and I visited with his Stepmom, Brenda there.  We went to Tyger River Park and watched the eclipse overlooking a river with live music playing. It was so exciting to be there and experience this once in a lifetime event – a nationwide solar eclipse. Everyone picked up their glasses as the eclipse began. It almost looked like a mouse had taken a bite out of the sun as the moon crossed its path. It also reminded me of the different stages of the moon when looking through the glasses, the sun kept getting smaller and smaller. Started as a full sun, then lost a quarter, then a half, then 3/4 till it became totally eclipsed with just the corona surrounding the sun.  It was a spectacular event. Getting dark during the middle of the day gave a surreal feeling to our surroundings. 

Eric and I had talked about getting married or engaged during the eclipse but had not discussed it at length. When the event was about to occur, I asked Brenda to take a photo of us kissing during the total eclipse. Just as she finished taking it, she asked Eric if that was an engagement photo, and he said: “Yes, it is”.  I was speechless, and if you know me it takes a lot to do that. We had been dating for 6 1/2 years and are considered a mature couple – he is 58 and I am 64 years old. I knew it was a possibility but was a little overwhelmed when he answered yes. Needless to say, it was a total eclipse of my heart as well as the sun. Shortly thereafter a reporter returned to our spot and asked what we thought of the eclipse. Eric immediately said we got engaged and we ended up with a photo on the front page of the Herald Journal with an article following http://www.goupstate.com/news/20170821/nc-couple-gets-engaged-as-eclipse-moves-over-spartanburg

This will always be a time to remember how wonderful this planet Earth and our Solar System is. It helps us understand the connection with our universe and how it is possible to all be connected energetically. This spiritual event that we are fortunate enough to witness, is a reminder of the wondrous things we have yet to explore.  Meditation can lead to a deeper understanding of our universe as well as ourselves. Come join me Monday, August 28 at 7 pm for a meditation focusing on opening the heart chakra to self-love http://omnigirl.net/events/

What has been interesting is the all the questions my wedding vendor friends are asking me about our upcoming wedding since I am a wedding officiant and involved in many weddings in the area http://www.annmckenzie.net/

To be quite honest, I have not even thought about a wedding, since I did not know I was going to become engaged this week. Knowing Eric and myself it will be something low-key and fun. As I tell all my wedding couples, it is your wedding and the ceremony can be anything you want. Let’s hope it will not be the next total eclipse of the sun in 2024 before it happens! 

Which love language speaks to you:  words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, or physical touch? These love languages are from the book “The Five Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman. Learning your own love language and the one of your partner can be key to feeling loved and appreciated in your relationship.

Do you feel loved when someone says “I love you” or compliments you on how wonderful you are? Many of us need verbal messages to feel appreciated from our partner. This may be what we experienced growing up or have felt was a show of love from others or from we have seen in the media.

Do you feel loved when someone takes time out of their schedule to do quality activities together? It could be dinner, a movie, hiking, boating ,etc.  You may feel that you are truly close to the person when engaged in an activity that you enjoy, especially if it is not their “cup of tea”. By their willingness to do something you enjoy, it sends a message that you are important and they are want to see you happy.

When you receive a gift , without a special occasion, does it make you feel closer to your partner? It is a welcome surprise to realize you are being thought of in the moment and not just out of a social obligation for a birthday, anniversary or holiday .

Recently , my partner, Eric, spent a whole week in between his regular job as an electrician , to place new laminate floors in my home. His “act of service” was a truly generous gift.  It taxed him physically and mentally since he had to juggle his other jobs to do this. This was one of the most loving things I have experienced. I realize that this type of love language is how he shows his feelings. In the past, I have not always appreciated this, but after reading the “Five Love Languages” I found that love can be expressed in many ways. After taking the “love quiz” in the book, I discovered that is how I show love also. I am a nurturer with my partner even sometimes too much. I take time to prepare healthy food and to assure he is eating well. I also try to do errands for him whenever his schedule is hectic.

Does a hug or kiss make you feel loved? I am talking about affection, not sex. The physical touching by another person is something we all crave. There is a saying by Virginia Satir, a respected family therapist, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” I totally agree with her. Some people are not used to physical touch and it is difficult for them to express their feelings this way. To others  it is as natural as breathing. I come from a family of huggers. All my friends know that hugging is something I do automatically without thinking. This is one of the ways I feel loved. I realize that sometimes I need to initiate this since my partner can not always “read my mind”.

In the “Five Love Languages”, Gary Chapman says to keep love alive you need to understand how your partner feels loved and try to express it in that manner. One way to tell is how your partner shows love to you. Usually the way a person expresses love is the way that they feel loved themselves.

A simple exercise to discover this is for both  of you write a list of the 5 ways your partner shows love to you. It can be providing financial support, taking care of the kids, sending  flowers, hugging every day , going to theater or saying “I love you” when you are least expecting it.

Now try expressing love to them in the same manner they show their love for you. It may not seem natural, but it can make a big difference in your relationship. To love another unconditionally  is a true joy. It is your choice to keep this joy in your life by letting them know how much you care in a way that they understand.

This blog is dedicated to Eric Lytle, to show my true appreciation for all you do by your “acts of service”.  And for helping me realize there is more than one way  to show love. For more information concerning wedding ceremonies :http://www.annmckenzie.net/ceremonies/ .  Please contact me if you would like to discuss ways to enhance your relationships: http://omnigirl.net/contact/

 

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